Since, on average, American adults spend 11 hours a day on digital media—checking email, stalking exes, watching cat videos, and otherwise letting our brains slowly die—maybe a more interesting question these days would be “What would you do on your last day of internet?”
So … what would you do on your last day of internet?
What would you do if they were going to shut it all down tomorrow? (Don’t ask why, this isn’t that kind of thought experiment.) For people whose lives and careers remain so inextricably attached to their Wi-Fi, what would their final hours online look like? Would they make peace with their vaguely racist high school friend who wants to defund Planned Parenthood? Would they finally—after months, years of contemplating—sign up for Amazon Prime, just to enjoy 24 hours of straight streaming heaven? Or are their interests more pornographic? Would they spend a full day exploring uncharted sites, bold and brazen new categories, discovering their grossest selves in the process? Who would they friend? Defriend? Caps-lock comma-free call out?
We here at GOOD decided that we’d waste some of our favorite internet people’s time by asking them how they’d spend their final remaining hours on the digital grid.